Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
