I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I love you.
Bad choice
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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