after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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