i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
