im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
