my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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