tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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