with your own penis?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Too much gin, very little bucket
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
