You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This is my gift to your gina
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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