We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
