i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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