he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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