We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just high enough for therapy.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
