I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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