i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize