At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
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You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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