man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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