Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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