I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
