im drinking this country out of the recession.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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