It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
