But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize