How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
