playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
