thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
