the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want to be your penis for a week.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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