Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want to make out with him forever
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
