never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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