So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.