I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch