You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
