I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.