dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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