Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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