It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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