South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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