Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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