OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
