Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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