i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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