i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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