..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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