I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
