I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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