the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
