i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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