he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
