It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
