How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
