so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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