Whod you bang
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
