So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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