The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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