She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
