I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
