I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
