I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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