no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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