He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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