Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize